Resiliency: Amateur vs Pro & 7 Things You Need to Know

Resiliency‘Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight!’ Japanese Proverb

Are you resilient? Have you got what it takes to ride the most challenging waves of life? As a psychologist with a PhD and 20 years experience I thought I did. But I was wrong. Through adversity, I found out the hard way that there is a big difference between ‘knowing’ about resiliency and stress management and being able to ‘expertly apply’ these skills when you need them most.

[Read more…]

Optimism: A Hazard Warning!

Optimism HazardThere’s no difference between a pessimist who says, “Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,” and an optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.” Either way, nothing happens.  Yvon Chouinard

Being optimistic is a good thing, right? Not necessarily – it will either be an amazing blessing or be more harmful then helpful depending on what type of optimism we’re talking about.

Did you know there are two types of optimism? Healthy Optimism which gives us an unshakeable belief in a positive future (the best is yet to come) and fortitude necessary to endure hardship along the way; and an Unhealthy Optimism which where we create amazing dreams and fantasies with deadlines which if unmet lead to hopelessness and despair. Let me explain….

[Read more…]

Purpose: A Tale of Two Bridge Crossings

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”Medieval Bridge

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.”

Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Did you know that to live a happy and fulfilled life there are two bridges you must cross?

One bridge sits over the mighty rivers and deltas that mark the major milestones of your life. The other bridge sits over the many small streams, creeks and marshes that you must cross everyday. [Read more…]

Living In Balance: The 4 Elements of Wellbeing

4ElementsI have met some really caring people over the years – people who were calm, kind and generous, people who were knowledgeable, encouraging and supportive, people who excited, enthusiastic and motivated. I have also met some really fit and physically healthy people – people who were active, self disciplined and fashionable.

In each case I have admired their positive characteristics and felt compelled to strive for greater self-improvement. But also, as time progressed, I became aware of their imperfections and limitations as well. The really caring people were not always physically fit and healthy, the really physically fit and healthy people were not always the most calm and caring. [Read more…]

Stress Management: Are You Amateur or Pro?

Pro SurferMost people know a bit about Stress Management – they have read a few books, watched a few episodes of Oprah or Dr Phil and done some breathing or muscle relaxation. Despite this knowledge, the rates of Depression, Anxiety and Stress are rapidly rising among us with 1 in 2 people on the planet (3.5 billion) likely to have a serious psychological disorder during their lives – WHY?

Surely it can’t be because we don’t have the knowledge needed to manage our stress? Perhaps it’s because, as the saying goes, ‘a little knowledge is a dangerous thing’ and knowing about something is very different to being able to expertly apply it to your life when you need it most! [Read more…]

Success Secrets 7: Busy is Better Than Boredom or Burnout!

Endless Summer

If you want something done ask a busy person! Benjamin Franklin

Have you ever asked someone to do something for you only to have to eventually do it yourself – often in a last-minute rush? At work I have suffered the ‘delegation curse’ of assigning a task to someone and then either not having it done properly and/or unexpected delays in it being completed. I then find myself either re-doing the task, (often when I don’t have time) or nagging and micro managing to get things done by due dates – only to damage relationships with my colleagues! [Read more…]

Destiny’s Child: Define or Deny Your Success in Life!

Destinys Child Image

‘Failing to plan is planning to fail’ – Benjamin Franklin

‘Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars’ – Norman Vincent Peale

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right’ – Henry Ford

When someone succeeds in life people around them may say ‘it was their destiny’ as if to suggest their success was inevitable and in turn deny the enormous hard work, detailed planning, risk taking, setbacks and failures that all successful people must endure along the way. [Read more…]

New Years Resolutions: Reflecting on Your Legacy

Lifestyle choices.

‘In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.’ Jack Kornfield

Happy New Year! The beginning of 2015 at midnight tonight! – what an exciting time! Are you glad to leave behind 2014 or was it a memorable and special year for you?  Regardless of how good or bad 2014 has been, the start of 2015 is a great opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others and be true to our core values in the decisions we make.

[Read more…]

Summertime Sadness: The Loneliness Trap

Summertime Sadness“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” Plato

“Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out” J. Buck

The summer festive season is upon us once more and for many (myself included) it is a bittersweet time of the year. The chance to slow down and take a break from the chaos of everyday life and catch up with family and friends can be both a blessing and a curse. The blessing of relaxing and unwinding and re-connecting with family and friends can also become the curse of unexpected illness, stress, interpersonal conflict and loneliness.

Like so many other parents in separated families, the festive season is a mixed blessing for me. My children spend each alternate Christmas with me so the festive season can be either an intense high-energy family time or a quiet time of reflection, rest and solitude.

In either case, the expression ‘the cup can be either half empty or half full’ can apply. [Read more…]

Purpose In Life P2: What You Need to Do!

Purpose Fire“The purpose of life is to contribute in some way to making things better”
Robert F. Kennedy

“They who have a ‘why’ will endure any ‘how’”
Nietzsche

To successfully Ride The Waves of Life, you need to ignite the fire of your inner Purpose so it becomes the compass that gives direction to your life. Like the Fire burns hot, so does will your passion and Purpose for life. Having a clear sense of purpose and personal mission allows you to know the true direction for your life, enabling you to make every day a masterpiece and leave a positive legacy.

In Part 1 of Purpose In Life we took some time to better understand the concept of Purpose In Life (What You Need to Know). In this article we cover Part 2,  the some practical steps we can take to enhance our own sense of Purpose In Life (What You Need to Do). [Read more…]