Life Strategy: Escape The Work/Life Balance Myth & Live Your Dreams!

Cube-with-photo-collection-38156155-2‘If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.’ Henry David Thoreau

‘All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.’ TE Lawrence

Do you ever feel like your work and life are out of balance? Have you ever felt trapped and frustrated by your job, your finances, or your personal circumstances? Do you dream of having greater work/life balance? [Read more…]

Resiliency: Amateur vs Pro & 7 Things You Need to Know

Resiliency‘Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight!’ Japanese Proverb

Are you resilient? Have you got what it takes to ride the most challenging waves of life? As a psychologist with a PhD and 20 years experience I thought I did. But I was wrong. Through adversity, I found out the hard way that there is a big difference between ‘knowing’ about resiliency and stress management and being able to ‘expertly apply’ these skills when you need them most.

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Emotional Awareness (or Not?)

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“Like Water That Flows So Are The Tears Of Our Emotions”

“You’re Emotions Are Important Passengers BUT Never Let Them Drive!”

Dr Pete PhD

After all these years working as a psychologist I am still amazed at how difficult it is for bright and capable people who are under pressure to be able to identify and separate their thoughts and emotions.

Most people may think they are emotionally aware but when they are struggling with challenging waves of life they often lack self-awareness. Have a look at these two cases below:

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Optimism: A Hazard Warning!

Optimism HazardThere’s no difference between a pessimist who says, “Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,” and an optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.” Either way, nothing happens.  Yvon Chouinard

Being optimistic is a good thing, right? Not necessarily – it will either be an amazing blessing or be more harmful then helpful depending on what type of optimism we’re talking about.

Did you know there are two types of optimism? Healthy Optimism which gives us an unshakeable belief in a positive future (the best is yet to come) and fortitude necessary to endure hardship along the way; and an Unhealthy Optimism which where we create amazing dreams and fantasies with deadlines which if unmet lead to hopelessness and despair. Let me explain….

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Purpose: A Tale of Two Bridge Crossings

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”Medieval Bridge

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.”

Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Did you know that to live a happy and fulfilled life there are two bridges you must cross?

One bridge sits over the mighty rivers and deltas that mark the major milestones of your life. The other bridge sits over the many small streams, creeks and marshes that you must cross everyday. [Read more…]

Mythbusting Resiliency & Burnout

Resiliency

“Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle” Plato

“Life is both ‘simple and hard’ but becomes ‘complex’ when we try to make it  ‘easy’” Dr Pete

I am a fool. After all these years of research and clinical practice I still fall into the trap of thinking that people who are fit and healthy, good-looking,  have extraverted personalities, shiny sport cars, happy families and an apparent lack of any personal problems, are role models of what it means to be resilient – but I am completely wrong! The notion that resiliency means you don’t have any personal problems is a myth!

I am also a fool when it comes to the subject of burnout! For years I thought burnout was some disastrous, slow-moving, hidden disease that was unstoppable once it started and only inflicted upon those Mother Teresa selfless type caregivers. I thought there would be no chance of recovery or return to health but rather a gradual slide into self-sacrificial oblivion which was only rewarded in heaven. The notion that burnout is both a complex irreversible phenomenon and only affects the selfless caregiver type is also a myth! [Read more…]

100 Posts! John Grisham & The 20 Mile March

Amundsen“ Writing’s still the most difficult job I’ve ever had – but it’s worth it.” John Grisham
“Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline.” Jim Collins
“The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu

It’s time to celebrate my 100th post! I never thought I would get this far… Over 90,000 words and 22,358 reads in the last two years! Plus 5 books, a full-time job, a blended family, a new baby, twins on the way, a beach shack under construction and an array of other complications and challenges of everyday life. [Read more…]

The Tipping Point of Stress: Know Your Score!

TMI Info OverloadEveryone has a tipping point – when it all becomes too much. I had one the other day. After waking up too early with a new baby, followed by a multitude of regular waves and daily hassles, I had to manage a medical emergency with a family member.

I got home late in the evening and tripped over the kid’s toys and snapped! Luckily no-one was watching as I kicked the toys to one side and let out a couple of expletives before collapsing in a heap – exhausted and feeling like I couldn’t cope. [Read more…]

The 3 Myths of Forgiveness

Mythical‘Forgiveness’ is such an important part of being able to recover from psychological problems and live a healthy and successful life. Yet ‘Forgiveness’ is often misunderstood and can lead to a range of unhelpful behaviors and consequences causing unnecessary harm to ourselves and others. In this article I want to share with you what the true meaning of forgiveness is and reveal the 3 most damaging myths of forgiveness and how you can avoid the mistakes and heart ache these myths may cause.

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Stress Management: Are You Amateur or Pro?

Pro SurferMost people know a bit about Stress Management – they have read a few books, watched a few episodes of Oprah or Dr Phil and done some breathing or muscle relaxation. Despite this knowledge, the rates of Depression, Anxiety and Stress are rapidly rising among us with 1 in 2 people on the planet (3.5 billion) likely to have a serious psychological disorder during their lives – WHY?

Surely it can’t be because we don’t have the knowledge needed to manage our stress? Perhaps it’s because, as the saying goes, ‘a little knowledge is a dangerous thing’ and knowing about something is very different to being able to expertly apply it to your life when you need it most! [Read more…]